W.A.L.T write a narrative
Success Criteria
I know I will be successful when….
- The title is suitable for the text.
- The orientation tells who the story is about, and when and where the story happened.
- The complication describes a problem and explains what happened next.
- The resolution explains how the problem was solved.
- Seeks feedback and makes changes to texts to improve clarity and meaning.
3, 2, 1 , WHOOSH 1961 I went into space I felt so shaky my heart was like it was gonna SNAP in half. Why am I going. My head was feeling so drowsy like I was going to fall. I miss my trainer Bob. I wish I didn’t go in the rocket I wonder why they choose me. Then I felt so sleepy that I fell asleep. I feel so shaky like there was an earthquake on the rocket ship. I want to go home not in space. I was sent here to see what would happen to a chimp in space for 65 years.
65 years later….
it was hard for me to wake up my face was frozen.
Then I jumped out of the rocket and yelled out BOB! Where are you I Ran in the house the we booth lived in but he wasn't there this lady answered I said where it Bob then I showed her the picture then she said he passed away then a tear came in my eye. so then I was crying so hard that I looked at the picture that cheers me up a little bit but I wanted to get REVENGE so I went away from the house and we to the banana tree to eat some bananas because I was hungry. Then I went to the fountain to get a drink.I thought it was the the world was gonna end but I went to the zoo where my Mum and Dad when then I said MUM DAD ITS ME JIM ! then the zoo keeper took me and put me with my mum and dad then I lived really happy. I told my mum and dad that I was space for 65 years (it's not a planet its our home)
THE END 
Nice work Sharney, I really like story and how it’s detailed and how you have put the It’s not a planet it’s our home. But there are some mistakes like when you said I went into space, then you said I felt shaky like my heart is gonna snap in half. How was it happening if you were already sent into space. Some like, I wish I didn’t go in the rocket, was it a rocket for a badminton game. More like, then I jumped out of the rocket ship and yelled out bob! I ran into the house that we both lived in, how were you in earth were you hadn't landed yet. Like, when you said a lady was on the house, how did she know Jim passed away is she his brother or something. Lastly when you said your saw your mum and dad at the zoo, I’m sure they’d be dead by then because they’re at least 90-100 years old, 50-40 more years that a chimps life span. But anyways keep up the good work.
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